


JJ ♡ Ю

by Saniika



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 11:59:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13271010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saniika/pseuds/Saniika
Summary: JJ challenges Yuri. And somehow a bunch of skaters are in Canada, with a very pleased JJ playing a host. There are consequences and...yellow snow?





	JJ ♡ Ю

**Author's Note:**

  * For [annabeth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabeth/gifts).



> For Annabeth. They did the betajob too. Thanks! Was very spontaneous and...well, cracktastic.
> 
> About a one quote from JJ is directly from Mulan.

How did he get into this again? Yukon. Fucking Yukon. One of the coldest states in Canada. He was sure this concrete place was colder than the Russian winter he was accustomed to. Of course JJ had to pick the most remote location, deep in even more remote woods, far far from internet and things Yuri liked. And yet, still close to people he was irritated by.

The whole Russian team, pig as unforgettable luggage and the Crispinos were all here. For a New Year's party - after Grand Prix celebration. 

***

“But, Yuri! He’s inviting us all?!”

Victor hung on Yuri from behind, leaving Yuuri weight free for once. The pig stood beside them looking at Yuri from the side. Yuri knew he had something to say. He just knew it.

“What?!”

“You should see the new pic he posted on Instagram.”

Yuri narrowed his eyes and actually saw Yuuri smirk a little. He fished out his phone from his hoodie and started the app. Few scrolls and sure enough it was there.

A pic with JJ in his own sportswear and sunglasses, shitty grin and gorgeous view on mountains with pines peeking into view. 

“So? A bragging selfie, nothing out of the ordinary.”

Yuuri actually bit his lips and pointed on the phone.

“Check out the tags.”

#colderthanrussia #buttoohot4u #russiankittenscanthandle #cantproovemewrong #canttouchthis

Yuri inhaled deeply, pushed a palm straight into Victor’s face and sent a message to JJ.

“Challenge accepted. UR paying 4 the ticket. Also, those tags? UR a pathetic MC Hammer imitation. FUCK U.”

A good insult was worth every penny.

Almost immediately there was a response.

Ping!

“Gladly! 3 times in a row, can you keep up, Pussy? Bring your special boots. Got a private rink close by.”

He actually dared...! 

“I’ll fucking slit UR throat with my knife shoes. BE READY.”

Yuri locked his phone and stabbed Victor viciously with his forefinger in his chest.

“Pack your bags, we’re going.”

***

So, yes. That’s how.

And that’s how it led to this freaking, frozen butthole place. Fucking jetlag, Yuri felt so sick from the long travel. The flight was atrocious, delayed layovers, horrible plane food. He was glad he didn’t puke the whole night and got some decent sleep. The two love dobes, who shared a room with him, held off the rabbit fucking for once. 

He could swear he was still traumatized from the noises and sights from the Utopia in Victor’s room. If he’d think a little more on that, he might actually get sick again… or a bit horny. The latter was still terrifying to Yuri and he managed to exorcise the thoughts from his brain in bulletproof denial.

It looked like the morning was going to have a potentially good start. Until he heard his name from the outside.

“Yuuuuuuuuuuuuri! Princess! Rise and shine, sleeping beauty!”

Oh, for fuck’s sake. Fucking annoying. JJ’s obnoxiously loud shouting would wake up the whole hunting lodge at this point.

“Hop, hop, hop! Get your clothes on! Get ready! I have something nice for you down here!”

Yuri would fucking murder him. No, fuck him. JJ can go fuck himself. He will take his fucking time and even if it takes him an hour, JJ will wait.

Loud banging echoed around their room as the wooden shutters hit the lodge’s walls. Laughter burst out from the neighbouring rooms and Yuri recognized it was Mila, then Sara… Georgi and even Michele? What the fuck?

Victor ran to the window, opened it and burst out laughing as well. He motioned Yuuri with flapping hand frantically to his side. Yuuri followed him lethargically, but the sight seemed to wake him up instantly. He barely held back and had to wipe his eyes from giggling.

What the…

Yuri jumped between them, shoving them aside.

“Out of my way, you twats! What the fuck is-...”

“Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuri! Where are youuuuuuuuuuu!!!!”

JJ stood in front of the lodge in his red ski overalls, adorned with golden JJ initials. Yuri’s grandpa had a better one from his communism days, honestly. How could he wear something so drag like? Such a poor taste. Really.

He was shouting from the top of his lungs and faced them with his back. Yuri could see others leaning out of the windows on each side and they were taking pictures? What the fuck? What was he doing? Surely his outfit wasn’t that funny?! Pathetic, yes, but-

Then he saw it. Yuri’s eyes widened.

In big letters, in the snow, with yellow lines…

JJ ♡ Ю

Their initials. JJ in latin and his own in cyrillic. Love declaration written with piss in the snow. Fucking. Piss. In the snow.

“You asshole! Хуй тебе!”

Victor and Yuuri had to hold him by the shoulders so he wouldn’t fall out of the window. They tried to contain him, but soon gave up and headed to the bathroom to wash themselves and start the day. Yuri continued to shout any kind of insult which came to mind and JJ seemed to be more pleased by each one of them more and more.

“I love you too, kitten! Like what you see? Are you going to take a picture?”

Yuri knew JJ was taunting him, he shamelessly didn’t even tuck himself in and blew him kissy faces. Wiggling his schlong like an elephant’s trunk.

“You bet I will! You fucking moron! I’ll post it all over the instagram, so everyone can see what a dick you are!”

JJ feigned over exaggerated shock and looked hurt.

“You would do that? Sharing your private wank material? What happened to the exclusive agreement between us?”

Yuri didn’t wait any longer and was running down in his patterned pajama pants, topless and not minding any cold. He was down on the porch in a heartbeat, gathering snow from the railing and throwing a snowball straight into JJ’s crotch.

“FUCK, OW! That was not fair! I was not prepared! I love you, but - FUCK - Yuri, that fucking HURT!!!”

Yuri watched JJ writhe in the snow, holding onto his dick for dear life. It was a very rewarding feeling. He took a picture with JJ’s ass sticking high into the air bent in the snowdrift. Wonderful angle, especially with another set of JJ initials. The best part was that JJ rolled around on the completely wrecked yellow snow. It was only a question of blackmail to get others to delete the pics from before. Yuri was safe. And JJ? Yuri knew exactly what hashtag he’d use for the pic.

#wouldnttouchthis 

Well. Yuri wasn’t heartless. JJ was stupid, but he did say he loved him. Yuri would be forgiving. Maybe tonight, he’d let JJ touch him. And get a blowjob for a good measure. If JJ would be earnest and trying, he’d skip the shaming post. 

To forgive was divine. And JJ’s mouth was divine. Even if it was filthy as fuck.


End file.
